This Is Your Brain on Porn: Pornography Addiction, Society, and the Brain

Cayla McNally's picture

Many of my drug using, sex crazed friends have said at least once that having an orgasm and doing a line of cocaine create the same feelings within the brain. I am able to understand why there is a chemical change when participating in a sexual act, but I cannot comprehend how people can be addicted to pornography, which has virtually no interaction with the viewer. Sexual acts that one partakes in, like all activities that one partakes in, changes the chemical reactions and firing rates in the brain; so why is it that viewing pornography, which is a mainly optical activity, can change the brain, and even more than that, create an addiction? Simply put, pornography addiction is the “abuse and overuse” (1) of various types of pornography; however, on a deeper level it is a very complicated subject. It raises both medical and social questions, and it is uncertain if the answers to these questions will ever be agreed upon. It is one of the few addictions that are just considered to be a psychological addiction; possibly because of that, most doctors do not consider it an actual addiction, but instead as a sub-condition of obsessive compulsive disorder (1).

While it is not considered a legitimate disease by many, pornography addiction does have similar symptoms: those affected are not able to control how often they engage in the behavior, engage in it to rid themselves of stress, work up a tolerance to it, and engage in the behavior instead of having social and personal interactions (1). These symptoms, especially the ultimate, have been exacerbated by the drastic increase of internet porn, which makes the medium readily available in the privacy of one’s own home. The extra convenience has occurred hand in hand with increasing opposition, stating that pornography in the home has effects on not only the person viewing it, but also those who stumble upon it, such as children. Many see it as a perversion of the home, and not as a real disease.

Another aspect of the addiction that makes it scientifically legitimate is the changes that occur in the brain when one engages in activities involving pornography. When an addict looks at porn, testosterone, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin are released, creating what Dr. Judith Reisman refers to as an “erototoxin” (2). The chemical change, which causes the person engaging in the act to have a temporary feeling of euphoria, becomes a necessity for the person to function. Like any other type of addict, porn addicts become trapped within their disorder, and the difference between casually watching pornography and being an addict hinges on the chemical makeup of the brain.

Pornography addiction is still very controversial, because the issue of its existence is still being constantly disputed. Scientists and moralists are entangled in a possibly endless argument, both publicly and privately, over the legitimacy of the addiction, as well as the differences between pornography addiction and other addictions, such as drug or alcohol addictions. While Dr. Judith Reisman agrees that viewing pornography causes a chemical change within the brain, she also believes that these changes will create a physical deterioration along with the psychological effects; however, as a critic of Reisman pointed out, “One unmentioned implication [of Reisman’s article] is the fact that, if sexual arousal from pornography causes 'brain damage', then so will real-life sex” (2). Since there is a reasonable possibility that having sex and viewing porn cause the same sort of stimulation in the brain, it would make sense that every time one engages in sex, one loses part of one’s mental faculties. Currently, there is no data to prove that this is true, and it appears as if there is no affirmative data about viewing pornography as well. Another issue of an addiction to porn is that while, with most drugs, it is possible to work all of the chemical out of the body after a certain amount of time, a pornographic image will stay in the memory as long as the memory exists. In a far more extreme interview, Dr. Judith Reisman stated, “[Pornography] could be more addictive than crack cocaine because cocaine can be excreted from the body. Pornographic images cannot. They remain, structurally and neurochemically, with a person forever” (3). She, as well as many others who believe that pornography addiction has more detrimental effects than other types of addiction, take the issue of addiction out of the scientific, and drag it into the sociopolitical. n

Personally, the research for this paper has raised more questions than it has answered. I am still unsure as to why it is considered a disease that branches out from obsessive compulsive disorder, as opposed to being on its own as a disorder. All addictions are obsessive, but not all are part of another disorder. It seems to me as if the squalor surrounding pornography addiction, not its scientific merit, has prevented it from becoming its own legitimate psychological disease. This has caused me to question how addictions are understood and proceeded with in both scientific and social realms, and also to understand that the variables of what determines a disease are not necessarily solely based on science or facts; much more plays into a disease than I had ever contemplated, especially ones that relate to something as that is discussed so much socially, morally, and politically, such as pornography.

  1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_addiction
  2. http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2005/07/attack_of_the_porno.html
  3. http://www.ewtn.com/library/ISSUES/REALKINS.HTM

Comments

Serendip Visitor's picture

God v. Porn

If God didn't mean for sex to feel good, he'd never have made our gspot. If God didn't mean for us to masterbate, our arms would've been shorter. (statistics show: 99 out of 100 people masterbate the other ones a liar)
QUIT WHINING AND JUST ENJOY YOUR BODY, LIKE GOD MADE US TO,

Tonaroz Wellman's picture

about porn addicting

I think that the most addicted people about porn or sex '' visually'', they are disable to have sex in reality, i mean maybe the absence of sex partner ,or the ones who are under a religious values ,and ethics so they can't have sex until they get married ,then they use to watch sex movies to satisfy their desires

anonymous's picture

my partner has a porn addiction and sex addiction

Hi I need help my partner is 43 years old male and is having issues with pornography since 12 years of age. He has never been marry and holds a very important job. Due to his family's debts he spends much of his earning paying credit cards but I came to find out he has spent over $50,000 USD to 100,000 in escorts, even clients he meets at his job. It is very toxic he forgets and denies constantly. And has a massive collection of porn. It has become an issue he even speaks in his sleep about the encounters. I can't stop crying at times because I want to have a family but he won't seek help. I don't know what to do. He is 12 years older than me. Yet he acts so childish about this issue.

Serendip Visitor's picture

Somethings Gotta Give

My heart breaks when reading stories like this, and because I'm battling my own demons in my home, I've been reading more than I ever imagined I'd find out there. I'm glad you're wise enough to know starting a family would be a very unwise decision at this time. It sounds like he has a very powerful sex addiction, and worse than pornography, he has spent a fortune on prostitutes. This is no small issue. He needs immediate professional help, and you must reach deep inside yourself and remember the beautiful treasured woman you are- a daughter of God- and get your sucks in a row, so to speak, protecting YOURSELF financially. If he gets help and recovers, praise God. But if this continues, hire a lawyer you trust and move on. Good luck to you, dear.

Serendip Visitor's picture

josh

HI im joshua augustin tell him to pray in the name of jesus cause he can destroy all things

Jeremiah Bullfrog's picture

Only purpose of LIFE is to

Only purpose of LIFE is to create MORE LIFE. That is done with sex. If we can't actually F as many women as we want, sometimes we have to sit around and fantasize with our dicks in our hand.
If it was up to me, I'd F 5 times per day at least.
END GAME.

Serendip Visitor's picture

this seems hold true for me

I got porn addiction for awhile and would look for more hardcore/darker stuff if you will the more times you get into it. It really is best to limit yourself.

Serendip Visitor's picture

true true

i couldnt agree more with you. the more i looked the darker the stuff got.. from realistic scenarios to public disgrace and gang banging and terrible things. I believe it is a real addiction. as is sex.. i have an app on my iphone 4s called PSA... porn and sex addictions.. its a help app.. with people and articles to help you...if you are still struggling.. i have literally had withdrawal symptoms from sex.. where my hands shook and i did not act like myself until i got some.... so to speak..

Patrick Tatireta's picture

Personal Behaviours

Hang in there Priapus. Well done.

Patrick Tatireta's picture

Personal Behaviours

What is the total population of the world? 3 to 7 billion.....? PEOPLE, EVEN TWINS ARE NOT MADE FROM THE SAME MOULD so we all differ in our own domain which drives us...THE BRAIN. It is amazing that when you make love to your wife or other, it is considered very proper but if one watches porn whether animal of human it is considered vulgar. Some people boost their sexual drive with pills, Viagra etc, some enjoy having fulfillment and are sexually aroused by having their spouse copulate with another, others are violent getting the arousal by inflicting pain and to some extent killing the victim. Others watch porn and are in overdrive. What then is the problem? God himself told Adam to enter his wife.

Was He watching? May be not, for we would call Him a pervert. People should mind their own affairs and deal with it openly and restrain themselves from having to concern themselves with other peoples' affairs. The answer is HONESTY. Let us wed a couple now. Man and Woman - Man and Man - Woman and Woman. Pretty soon we will wed Sodom and Gomorrah ................Human and Animal. If those who think this is all vulgar, the best weapon they can use to prevent this is, is through PRAYER. . . . . . . . . . .PERIOD. Do not hack into computers and tell people how to get sexually aroused.

May the Almighty have pity on us ALL. See you Judgement Day. I hope you (Mr. Porn Hacker) will be the first to enter the KINGDOM with flying colours since you are sinless, never viewing porn -
animal or else.

Serendip Visitor 2's picture

Correction for "Personal Behaviors"

With all respect to Patrick Taterita his post begs a few questions. 1. The population of the world is 3-7 billion. Are you sure?. Thats like saying your shoe size is 7 to 10. 2. How can you, compare a man making love to his wife, or girlfriend to watching people who are getting paid to screw in front of a camera crew. 3. The brain drives us ???? Brilliant !! So as humans we have no control over our thoughts?
4. Viagra does not increase sex drive. 5. Where in the Holy Bible did God tell Adam to "enter his wife"?
You insinuate that God may have found some preverse satisfaction in watching Adam and Eve procreate then you babble on as if you are a Christian. You are a young guy that likes to make idiotic ramblings then read them thinking they are brilliant philosophies. Go lookn in the mirror Pat and say "what a tool I am"

Serendip Visitor's picture

Religion

I have written this short piece, just to say to all who view this that I believe this. And that in no way do I mean to accuse any form of prejudice, or to cause any anger to upset to anyone. I just wanted to say, what I need to get out. And how I feel about the worlds views and thoughts on life today. BTW: I am only twelve years old, so please, no harsh comments. But in no way should I mean to restrict anyone in saying what they think about what I have said. ALL comments are appreciated!

Perhaps in the Bible 'God' said that Adam should 'enter' Eve. But you have no scientific proof that God actually existed. I mean, yes, there may have once been a man that called himself the 'all-knowing one!' But the Bible was actually written quite a few hundred years after 0 AD. The bible may well have been telling about a 'unearthly-being', but it was WRITTEN by a human! I know several hundreds of Christians, and all of them are my friends. In no way do I try to be prejudice, neither do I want to be; but I only need to say one thing to make ANY Christian think, is the following question: 'Do you believe in Dinosaurs?' Most people answer 'yes', for obvious reasons. But then, the bible clearly states that the Earth was created by 'God' 9000 years ago! Well as dinosaurs where around on the planet HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF YEARS AGO! You may think to yourself: 'fine, yes, maybe this is one mistake in the bible, but the rest of it MUST be true!

Just 800 years ago, we all thought that we where the cleverest people on Earth. But we 800 years later can clearly see that we where wrong! We think now that we are far more superior, that we know BEST now! But so did they and just a few centuries later, we realise that most of what they believed in, was pure bollocks! Science, is in NO WAY BETTER than ANY Religion! Even in science everyone can easily make mistakes. I mean , 30 years ago we believed that the atom was the smallest thing in the universe, then we split it in half and loads of other things came pouring out.

Just before I conclude my point, I just wanted you to think about this little point. EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE CAN BE CHANGED, NO MATTER HOW DRILLED INTO THE MINDS OF OTHERS IT MAY BE! JUST REMEMBER THIS LITTLE FACT, THAT AS WELL AS THE RELIGIOUS BELIEF THAT 'JESUS CHRIST' BROUGHT CHRISTIANITY TO THE MINDS OF MEN, AS WELL AS THAT WE HAVE SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE THAT CHRISTIANITY, WAS IN FACT BROUGHT TO EUROPE BY A JEWISH MAN! SO NOT EVERYTHING WE HAVE LEARNT FROM THE WORLD WE LISTEN TO IS ALWAYS CORRECT! (DO APOLOGIZE FRO TH CAPITOL LETTERS, MY COMPUTERS KEYBOARD HAS BEEN ACTING UP!)

Finally, I would just like to say the world would not be in any way the same, if we didn't have religion in our lives. Weather it be true or not, we can all get a form of happiness from it. It creates our world!

Here are a few quotes that make us think about life:

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”

“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.”

“Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.”

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”

“Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.” (That one was mine) <3

I hope you enjoyed my little saying, I know that, for me, I feel great, to have said about those things finally!

Thank you for listening.

Serendip Visitor 2's picture

Request from a Christian to all who Post in this forum

If you please, and with all respect please refrain from posting your understanding of what Christianity is all about unless you are actually a practicing Christian. Many of the post here mention verses from the Bible and what Christians believe. I am a 70 year old Christian. I am a deacon in my church. I have studied the Holy scriptures and taught many bible students. It is amazing how non Christians seem to know all about the Bible and Christianity and God. Sadly most all of the post from such people are misconceptions or just plain not true.
Thanks and God bless you all. pl

Serendip Visitor 231's picture

Christianity is alive and well

It is surprising that so many non- Christians seem to know all about Christianity. The beat of the non-Christian goes on and it sounds like this:
If God is so great why does he let _________________(fill in the blank) happen.
Christians are all a bunch of do good hypocrites.
The things God is said to have done are impossible.
If God can do anything, can he create a rock to big for him to lift?
Perhaps you also reject prayer in schools and bible verses enscribed in public places

With all respect to these well meaning non-Christians I submit the following:
Whether you believe in Him or not He exist. Furthermore He loves you.
I know he exist because I have felt His presence in my life on many occasions, as have all Christians.
Yes, very bad things happen to good people; babies die, good friends suffer excruciating pain from cancer and other disease
but God tells us these are of little comparison to the eternity He has planned for those who know Him. Futhermore God has given us free will to do as we please. God did not create guns. God did not create nuclear weapons, God did not create cigarettes. Man created these things and man suffers the consequences of what he creates. God has a purpose for each of us. He has given us all certain gifts and he expects us to use these gifts for His purpose. Those who fail to use them, fail in the sight of God. Though they are not doomed to hell, they will one day have to stand in His presence and explain why. While on the subject, we will all have to stand in His presence and explain why; why we did not accept Him during our lives; why we did the many evil things in our lives ; why we failed to help those in need. The list goes on but in the end those who rejected him will go to eternal damnation. Note the word " eternal", that's forever. Are you willing to take the chance that my words here may be true? Trust me, they are true.
One last thing. This calling Christians "do good hypocrites". You are right. We are all hypocrites, liars, many of us value things of this earth more than we value God. We dont mean to do these things, its just that none of us were born perfect. We are alll sinners. But, as Christians we have accepted the Grace Of God through the sacrifice made by Jesus Christ. When He died on the Cross our sins died with him. Though our belief does not keep us from sin, no matter how hard we try, it does offer us his forgiveness when we confess our sins. Here is the point --Though as Christians we try not to sin, but because we are human we cannot lead a sinless life. Because we are Christians we have Gods forgiveness. Those who stay close to God, day in and day out will sin less then those who only get close to him on Sunday morning. Those who do not accept Him, no matter how good they are will be lost souls. Dead in Christ.
Its your life, do as you will, just remember you had a choice and you turned your back on it. God will show you no mercy when your time comes.
P. H. Lee
Synodical Deacon
ELCA Lutheran Church

Serendip Visitor's picture

Husband watches Porn and Masterbates while in bed with me

My husband has been watching porn since he was a teenager. He is now 66 yrs old. We were married July 2013, not even a year ago. He now says he watches porn to help him urinate...does he really think I'm that stupid? He does have problems with incontinence but I don't think porn will help him..He also has narcolepsy and catalepsy but none of this would cause his problem with sex and porn.
We've talked about his addiction. He watches it everyday, every chance he gets. There have been two times with in the month that he has turned on a vibrator and picked up his phone while I was sleeping next to him to watch porn and masturbate. Just last night this happened. I'm devastated, I'm hurt, I have no self esteem. Both times, I have gotten up and slept on the couch so he could have "HIS" time with his porn, because I sure don't want to be there listening to all this and knowing what he is doing.

He is in the medical profession, (a doctor) he knows how humiliating this is for me, because we have discussed it over and over and over why does he do it? The more we talk about it, it seems the worse it gets. I have no desire for sex any more because I feel that if he has his porn, why does he need me? Besides, when we have sex, he closes his eyes like hes thinking about the women he watches on the porn sites. And he is getting rough during sex, like pulling my hair, biting,twisting my nipples. It HURTS!!

I'm at my wits end. I don't know what to do any more. When I mention it, he blames it on me. He wants me to get "dressed" up for bed. My ex husband wanted me to do the same, it was a fetish of his. Stockings, high heels, garters, etc. I feel that I can't go back to a relationship that I had with an abusive ex. And I've told him this. he stated that I spend hours getting dressed for church or shopping, but I can't get "dressed" for him. I did dress for him about a month ago. I went to bed around 10PM, he came to bed at 730 the next morning. I'll NEVER get dressed for him again. He was up all night watching porn, while I was waiting on him, until I finally went to sleep.

Serendip Visitor's picture

Just wanted to tell you that

Just wanted to tell you that I prayed thoroughly for you and your husband, may God restore your family and your husband´s heart and please don´t stop praying cuz that´s the only way to get out of it :)

Adam's picture

She already has prayed and

She already has prayed and waited.

So sorry for your pain. He needs professional help(a therapist, celebrate recovery group). Specifically, he needs proper tools to overcome his brain patterns. I can imagine you're resigned about your marriage. Who can blame you?

When we arrive/find ourselves in these situations and don't know what to do, we become overwhelmed and eventually quit.

Not getting professional help for the both of you,(marriage councillor/therapist) is like building a house without an architect.

Keep searching!

Serendip Visitor's picture

Pray about it and leave it in

Pray about it and leave it in the Lords hands. Wait for his answer.

darek1001989's picture

pseudo-science

First Judith_Reisman and i know your article is joke
No scientific literature from the last 30 years could be found that includes the term "erototoxin http://www.newgon.com/wiki/Judith_Reisman#Controversy.
When an addict looks at porn, testosterone, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin are released, when you have sex this chemicals are not released ?
"There’s no direct one-to-one relationship between dopamine and addiction, and knowing that this particular brain chemical is released during an activity predicts nothing about how problematic the activity might be. As the dopamine system starts working when we encounter anything pleasurable, the popular myth would suggest everything we like could be addictive: reading books, scratching an itch, building model steamships out of matchsticks, whatever floats your boat."

and more recent study
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201307/your-brain-porn-its-not-addictive
In the past people say that if you masturbate you will blind.
Im not pro porn activist only don like when someone wrote something with knowledge lvl 0
"so why is it that viewing pornography, which is a mainly optical activity"
"new research finds that looking at erotic movies can actually quiet the part of the brain that processes visual stimuli."
http://www.livescience.com/19755-porn-shut-visual-brain.html
you sure lot wrote about brain change i say you something genius even when you doing simple task like grab glass of whater your brain change.

Serendip Visitor's picture

Scared

I, as most on these postings, have struggled with porn addiction. I am fighting hard to beat it but as has been mentioned, the images don't leave the mind. I had gotten carried away with my addiction and my wife confronted me since I was hiding it in humiliation. I excused as lowering my libido or making sure I still "had it". I promised to stop. I did for several months. I slipped up with just pic gazing, not even porn. My wife saw my phone history. It's hurt her all over again. Why does this have such control. I looked up to see if it was a disease and it had a cure. It's humiliating. I stumbled on to this and have read so many posts. I want to beat this. I love my wife. I didn't see it as hurting her but it does. It's habit. But is it more? That same conversation months ago brought up me sneaking smokes. I wasn't a smoker but I was. I smoked maybe a pack a month. I always said it was like cigars but it was smoking period. I've not touched a cigarette in over 3 months. Why can I best that addiction but slip on this one. Is it the chemical reaction I crave? When I was a teenager in the 80's it was the sears catelog. Then Victoria's Secret. Then playboy on on up to internet. It's tearing me apart. There's so many differing opinions. I just wanted to post being that I'm trying to conquer this "disease".

sharon's picture

Addiction

There is only one way to conquer this, and that is thru Jesus Christ! Man calls it a disease, God calls it sin of the flesh. This is a spirit of lust that has took over ur life. My husband stop having sex with me, couldn't figure out whats wrong with me? Later I found out he started looking at porn on the internet. Later I met someone else, fell in love come to find out he's more addicted then my husband. Pornography comes straight out of hell to kill, steal and destroy marriages and everything around it and those who partakers of it. You dont have power over a spiritual thing as this. Tt takes getting God in ur life and follow him as he shows you the way out.

Rick's picture

The Answer

I am with all of you, but I may be further down the road. You should try
This site was built by a science teacher, and his wife and they are highly educated on the subject. It was meant as a resource for 'porn addicts.' This is a disease and the site explains why, as it 'hijacks' the pleasure center of the brain. IE Dopamine. You are literally a drug addict, but you can recover.

If you think you can't stop, or are just confused and think there isn't hope please check it out.

There are links for help, via forums. etc.

Good Luck

S k's picture

solution

Just look yourself for your future and keep deft thinking in "As you think ,so you been."

Serendip Visitor's picture

I was an addict for 12 years

I had a porn addiction since I was 13 years old. I am now 25. I managed to quit for 1 year but then became addicted again. Nothing I did seemed to keep my mind distracted well enough to avoid looking at porn. But then I started reading the Bible and listening to God, and broke free of my addiction. I've been clean for going on 3 months now and have not felt even the slightest desire to read porn again. When I see pictures of stuff I used to like (on billboards and on magazine covers), it does not spark any interest in me.

I realized something that broke me of my addiction: We are currently locked in a war between God and Satan, and Satan's demons are what plague addicts. The demons keep your thoughts turned toward your sin; they have power over you because you allow it, and they will continue to berate you with the strong desire to indulge in your addiction again. This is all to use you in a war against God-- they enjoy having power over you simply because you are a creation of God, and convincing you to indulge over and over again is like taking a cheap potshot at God Himself. Demons are holding you prisoner, and the only way to remove your shackles is to turn your attention to God. You must realize that God has given each of us the ability to fight evil, to combat our own sin, and we are certainly rewarded for doing so (we find peace within ourselves that before was in constant turmoil). Satan will continue to beat you over the head with your sin, but if you turn to God, Satan does not stand a chance. God is always stronger and he will drag you out of your addiction with both hands. You just need to have faith and ask for His protection.

Serendip Visitor's picture

Thank you so much

Your post is really encouraging. Thank you so much. I am a child of God but i never realized how much Im hurting my heavenly father when I indulge in these sort of stuff.
Thank you for posting this because now im determined not to give the devil the satisfaction of seeing me fail God.
Even at this moment the desire is very high but i know my God can take me through. Like you said with both his hands.
I will crtainly keep you in my prayers and please pray for me too

Dossan's picture

Good Post

Your post is a good one and I encourage you in your process to keep up the good work. If you do find you end up resorting to it again, don't fear, sometimes God allows omission to test your strength. But keep it up if that does ever happen. The more you continue in your prayerful path, the better you will be.

plz help's picture

my daughter....drugs and porn

I AM REALLY FEARFUL FOR MY DAUGHTERS LIFE,,,,SHE MEANT A MAN 20 YRS OLDER. WHO HAS BEEN IN PRISON AND IS A HORRIBLE MAN.. MY DAUGHTER TURNED 18 LAST FEB. THE PORN SHE IS DOING IS VERY SICK AND ABUSIVE.. VERY SICK AND SHE LOOKS VERY HIGH.THE PICTURE ARE A SLIDESHOW IN MY HEAD. PICTURES OF HER BEFORE SHE MEANT THIS MAN IS NOTHING LIKE WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE NOW ...SHE TALKS TO NOONE I DONT FEEL SHE IS SAFE AT ALL. THE LAST THING I WANT TO HEAR IS SHE IS 18 AND CAN DO WHAT SHE WANTS, I SO SICK OVER THIS AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.. PLZ HELP

Serendip Visitor's picture

your daughter

what youre going through is stressful and painful. it sounds like your daughter has gotten into porn after being taken advantage of by a man she met. you need to see a counsellor and talk about this problem with your husband. it is very important that you make your feeings known. make sure that whenever your daughter calls or gets in contact with you she realses that you love and support her,and remind her tha you are her mother.remind her that she is a family member you have raised to love and now that youre both adults, you canadvisor her because however desperate her life is, you are the person whose support will never waiver.

Bibhu Prasad Mohanty's picture

Help your child through Back Flower Remedy and LOVE

Dear Parent
Please treat you child with LOVE...Very active love and very active love. That is the best medicine. To support this you can administer a few Bach Flower remedies to your daughter. Please write to me on . I do not ask for any fee or any charge. I love to help people. I believe if my little help can change the destiny of at least one person , it will be a great life for me. Please write me.

sunshine's picture

my 12 year old son

I am worried about my son and think he might have an addiction to pornography. I have caught him looking at it on the computer more than once and have recently found it on a cell phone browser history and my 4 year olds did. How do I address this and get him help? He has an I don't care attitude when I try to talk to him about it. Please help as he is my oldest of 6.

amit 's picture

get yourself the power!

1.make sure that there is none around who is into it, for thats the most certain way to get this thing. what we don't understand is that thoughts that we entertain stay around that place where we are. and they run to every person that comes in that place. the consciousness of some welcome it while that of others rejects it.
2. make sure to get him familiar with yoga, as thats the only way ever to get him out of it, in case it continues to stay with him, as is most likely. yoga that will finally occur to him in course of his involvement with the only yoga that you can find in this materialist world. yoga is only understood when one experiences it. identify his keen interests and facilitate him involve himself in that activity. keep him as busy as possible.
3. please! get a long term strategy that eventually helps him develop his consciousness, bcoz once he wants to get rid of it in future he knows how to deal with it. ah! how i suffered so badly myself and how badly did i struggle for 12 to 14 years before i found the solution. believe me it's so simple to get rid of it but only when u find that source of great power we all have.
4. if u can develop yourself, you can help him a lot. once you become conscious of thoughts, and silent your mind with practice, you get the power in that silence to remove these thoughts out of the mind of your kid. you can just will them to go away when they come from nature or rise from his subconscious mind.
5. have a long term strategy please!!!!!!
6. may god bless you and your kid.

Serendip Visitor's picture

I agree with this advice except...

I would leave out the part about the yoga. The practice of yoga is actually rather spiritual and it encourages people to empty their minds, rather than keeping their minds busy. And when a mind is empty, spiritual forces which may be keeping your son prisoner to porn can access his mind more easily...because it is empty. It is far, far wiser to concentrate your son's attention on something other than porn (I would suggest God, but if you're not religious then find something else...though it won't be nearly as effective). Emptying one's mind will only invite more bad things to enter it. FOCUS your child's attention, rather than attempting to surrender it altogether to some emptiness and the things that inhabit that emptiness.

Serendip Visitor's picture

it's so simple!

this chemical change in the body can easily be avoided. i realized it when one day i allowed this thought ( in the beginning of the end my own struggle with porn addiction) and how i felt it's effect in the body and i realized how this is what had been happening all these years of my struggle with porn. in case of porn addiction things move from mind to body and in case of alcoholic and other addictions ( although i cant be sure about drug addiction thing, as i never even seen any kind of drug or taken it) it's the brain or nervous system that forces the mind to think of taking drugs. anyway, all these things are very difficult in the beginning but as you begin to understand with practice and application, you can in the middle stage get to a point where you can even will the urge to move far away from you.
and let me tell you that the very thought that you should not look at the woman with sexual desire is completely a thing called suppression and no religious teaching of the nature of morality can ever help.the solution is to get beyond both good and bad thought, to get beyond mind. i visited almost every temple and spent time in so many spiritual organisations in india, studied their literature and did yoga and tantrik spiritual practice, i prayed to god, loved god. and this one day i moved to this ashram in dehradun, one city in india, where this lady saint that i was staying with, asked me just forget god, giving me such a shock. but i knew she was a saint. so whatever she said has to be what i have to do. and i started a different practice and when i progressed i understood the truth of what is mind and what is a spiritual practice. ah! how gigantic is the task of christ to get us to this particular stage where we can see what is what. before that we are fighting with the instruments of ignorance to fight and get out of ignorance.
anyway, i am not able to say what i wanna say coz that will require me to write a lot. but my prayers are with all those strugglingwith this or any kind of addiction. may Devine Mother bless us with her mercy.

Serendip Visitor's picture

Help me

Only Yoga Can Helps????? please reply me..
if you want to help me,, reply me on my email..
Thank you

Bibhu Prasad Mohanty's picture

Yoga alone can not help

Yoga also requires some supportive disciplines and remedies. Please use Bach remedies and homeopathy.

amit 's picture

yes i would love to!

dear! i so badly want to help anyone who wishes to help himself.
but its so unfortunate that i am far away from you people. and i cant write all that i want to say. it would be great to talk to you people in person and explain to you the sure remedy to this seemingly big trouble.
yes. after suffering and struggling so badly with this trouble for 14 years. but when the solution came, this trouble was nothing. i could simply will it to disappear. i am right brother. its that easy. i got the solution bcoz my elders here in india from time immemorial have put in great efforts into the understanding the inner psychology and consciousness. and the psychology that u study in the west and in india is for kids. let me tell you. to understand the source of this trouble is to solve it once and for all.

Really God worries about people!'s picture

Entropy Believer

I came to this site looking for an insight to a mental understanding and behavior pattern for sexual deviancy or sexual escape desires. It very much interests me and would like peoples opinions on why you think our God cares if you watch pornographic material. There is a socially acceptable limit always changing. In the 70's if a lady had a foot on the floor in the movie no sex was being had. In 2010 everything is seen apart from penetration. This is just mainstream movies. Pornography has moved from 70's general pictures of genitalia to well everything in HD.

My question why would this be a religious area. Adam and Eve were sparsely clothed, You could not eat meat on Friday and no work was to be done on a Sunday. If you are Catholic Condoms were not to be worn and are still frowned upon by the Catholic Church.

Why are we worried about what we see now in 20 years time it will be considered Cave paintings. Just a thought, and do not wish to upset anyone.

Serendip Visitor 2's picture

Entropy Believer Response

What you describe as a rational conclusion is actually the problem. Each generation accepts more as the norm than the generation before them. Profanity in the movies, even the word "damn" was considered a bit racy in the 1950's, now it is no big deal if the word f__k is spoken on the big screen. If we accept pornography as being okay what next? How many generations before sex on public sidewalks will be accepted as the norm? The issue here has to do with the degradation of our country, our civilization. The great Roman Empire was into accepting many such things just before it collapsed. When a countries moral values spiral downward so goes that civilization. We change from in God We Trust to Satan Rules !. Your attitude, philosophy is a fine example of the decadent thinking that will bring our people to their knees.

Serendip Visitor's picture

Why?

Why do some believe that God cares whether or not you like porn? Depends . . . if you are basing your religious beliefs on Church Philosophies that often do change on the whims of the people, then you're right. In 20 years, looking at porn now might not matter.

You stated "There is a socially acceptable limit always changing." That is true.

However, if you base your faith on the Bible, which the Churches are supposed to support and which some believe to be the word of God, then you know that God does NOT change.

The scriptures are clear on our moral obligations toward God IF you want a relationship with Him or to be considered his friend. Man's worship is acceptable when we try to live in harmony with God's standards which are quite clear. He has laid out laws/principles in regards to our conduct, which include our sexual behavior.

According to the Scriptures, in order to be a friend of God, you must be holy as he is holy.

This includes acknowledging that as your creator he has the right to set the standard of right and wrong for you, which includes what he considers appropriate sexual behavior.

As the creator of sex, he has the right to express the way he wanted it to be used and to set the guidelines as he is God.

So to answer your question, why would God care?

In order to answer according to Scripture . . . it is because he desires all of his children to be reconciled him and to have a relationship with him and this cannot be done if you aren't being a friend to him and deliberately offending him with behavior that he finds unacceptable.

All of this is based on scripture and it's up to the individual what to believe.

Serendip Visitor 2's picture

What Scripture??

I am a Christian and would be interested knowing what scripture all of what you say is based on. Chapter and verse please. I ask because like many non Christians you seem to know all about Christians and church and God. Sadly most all of your post is a deviation of Christian philosophy or just plain not true. I especially would like to know where it says God wants you to be His friend.
I have a verse for you and any others who wish to make false claims from the Bible its in the book of Revelation (easy for you to find because it the last book in the Bible. Rev. chapter 22, verse 18,19. Read this and you will discover you have a lot more to be concerned about than pornography.

Serendip Visitor's picture

Celebrate Recovery

I have suffered from Porn addiction since the age of 18. I am a 31 year old female. When I was at my worst I couldn't hold down a job, my marriage was in shambles, and I felt like I was all alone. I am so happy I came upon this site because the last few days I have really been struggling with not looking. I haven't but this will be a good site for me to come to when I am struggling. It is very hard to be a woman with an addiction that most people think of as a dominantly male condition. I am almost 18 months porn free. I would not have even gotten this far with out the help of celebrate recovery and a God who loves me. Celebrate Recovery is a 12 step Christ Based of recovery program. That helps people with their hurts, habbits, and hang ups. I have tried other self help programs not necessarily for this issue but this is the only one that I had left feeling better then when I came in... Before CR I was an angry sad and very lonely person. I pray that each and everyone of you will feel God's love some point in your lives while you are struggling and will know when to lean on Him. Porn addiction is a misunderstood condition and the more of us who speak up about in our programs the more we will realized that we are not alone in this situation. I want to thank the creator of this blog for such a supportive and comforting place for people who suffer from this addiction to learn and realize that we don't have to suffer in silence.

Serendip Visitor's picture

Advice?

I'm a 26 year old female and have been struggling with lust and porn since I can remember. I can completely relate with feeling alone as society sees this issue as mainly a male problem. Up until a year ago I felt completely alone because I thought I was so broken and beyond help being a woman and addicted to porn. Now, I still struggle and honestly it currently seems to be getting worse...I know God loves me and is there but I feel like I need to take extreme measures to stop. I'm worried that its really going to do damage to my relationship with my boyfriend that I've been with for over 3 years now. Help?

Mondezir Alexandre's picture

Piece of Advice

Hello! I am sorry, but I suppose addictions don't have gender at all... so there is no problem if you're a man, a woman, a alien, whatever... that's not reason to bother at all, it's common to all of us.
Most of times, this urge for porn is correlated to other relevant unsolved issues you're carrying along with you, such as in your professional career, family relationship, feelings about your friends, partner, neighbor, anyone... Porn may be a consequence rather than a cause.

First, you should ask for professional help, like a therapy and have no shame at all to tell everything about it to them, because they are far more used to this than you can imagine, it's their job after all. Also, if you deeply rely on someone close to you (a friend, a relative, an internet acquaintance, etc) you can share your thoughts and possibly find out more about what you've been through, so as to get better prepared to face "lust" when it comes. Trust me, it can't virtually hurt you be acknowledged as a normal person with some difficulties concerning a natural behavior to most of us. Remember, it's not illegal, you can't be sued about it (at least, in my country Brazil, this is true LOL :) and most people you know, honestly, won't care much about it, as they don't care to other's problems that don't affect them directly.

I hope I have helped somehow... feel free to talk to me, because this is an alias I use in these sort of occasions, I'm on facebook and on other sites around.
Huge hugs and kisses :* Have a nice day !

P.S. By the way, I live here and I know for sure the country will be a huge mess during FIFA World Cup...better stay at home if you care about your safety.

Serendip Visitor's picture

If you are having sex

Then it won't help you either way. You need to stop the porn and sex all together. You should not be in a relationship until you can get practice self control and get your life right with God.

Serendip Visitor's picture

Po-n Addict

My friend, I have been largely porn free for a year. I had always used it for a month or two during the year to De-stress. If I was not in a relationship. Now, it is back with a vengeance!. This time it nearly owns me! Almost a full week, i cant shake it, and I am a follower of Christ! I believe movies and internet have hidden imagery, I know it has been used for decades to sell food, clothes and goods, but now it's being used to steal our 'life essence. The drug 'dopamine is released in the brain and becomes an addiction. It is very likely the dregs in the cup in the hand of the woman called 'Mystery Babylon... in the bible. The seed was planted in us many years b4 and quietly, slowly grew a deep root in our psyche/soul. I quit smoking, drugs, alcohol with Gods help, but this one is much stronger. I believe God is showing us we need His spirit and strong obedience in tandem to overcome this one. I have always been a Strong man, but now I know how weal I can be. We need More of God for sure!! Lions and Lambs

Serendip Visitor's picture

porn addiction

Sexaholics anonymous! Aka SA. It is a wonderful 12 step program for sex addiction. Yes that's porn too. I am a recovering alcoholic. Three years sober now. And I have plenty of friends (including a husband) who are clean and sober do to this program. Some of my friends have anywhere from 11-15 years sober. If you truly want to be free from yourself and your addiction then I suggest you work this program. And go to a meeting. They are absolutely free and they are everywhere. I hope this helps.

Serendip Visitor's picture

unexpected return

I am 18 years old and I am a Christian today. When i met Christ almost 2 years ago, i declared that i would stop watching porn because i believe that since he died for me, i no longer live for myself, but for him. I was almost fully successful in totally getting rid of my disgusting desire(of course with His help) but after a few months later, i started to feel hungry for porn again. Almost every other week, i would go to the computer to do some "research"(actually i really have a research to do) but then I would end up searching for porn. With God's help i would defeat this temptation, and stop it for a month. But it keeps on coming back! Until i realized that i would fall to this sin of watching porn every month! Every month i would keep this mind far away from porn as long as possible, but there will always be a day when i will fall. I try to not think about it but the random stuff in the internet make me wonder and remember all the porn i watched and then i would end up being hungry for it again! How can i fully stop it?? I know, with His help I can, but for my part, are there other ways to not fall?? I want to totally stop it.. I start to feel so ashamed every time i go to church. and the worst part is that i am a lead worshiper volunteer in church! please pray for me..

123456789's picture

We can overcome the PORN with help of AllAh

Hi Serendip Visitor , I am born in Hindu religion , I learned every good activities through fear of god, but i couldn't control Watching Porn videos . Same thing what happened in your life , it happened to me also every months one time i will fail in front of this porn addict.I will make a decision that if i watch the porn video next time in my life ,i will get punishment through god, But my thoughts didn't allow me to control this thing , it was continued in my life . then i started to search a real god if god is their he will help me to defuse this sin, While searching the i came to Know that idols are not a god . then i started to study the Bible ,i believed Jesus is my lord ,He will help me . But i don't Know changes in my life same thing have been continued in my life. I studied both Hindu's scripture and Bible both are explains that their is only one god. and also i am praying to Jesus and i started to going Church , but still i couldn't stop that , after watching that videos i will cry to lord , why i cant control this , i will pray to lord that please strengthen me, but i couldn't, then 1 year same thing happened to me even i not changed . one day , unfortunately i watched a one youtube video that bible is god's word nor not ? its a one type of debate b/w Ahmed deedat vs jimmy swaggart. finally i came to Know, that many of contradiction's are their in bible . Then i got one more news about Jimmy swaggart

On October 11, 1991, Swaggart for a second time was found in the company of a prostitute, Rosemary Garcia, when he was pulled over by a police officer in Indio, California, for driving on the wrong side of the road. According to Garcia, Swaggart stopped to proposition her on the side of the road. She later told reporters, "He asked me for sex. I mean, that's why he stopped me. That's what I do. I'm a prostitute. This time, rather than confessing to his congregation, Swaggart told those at Family Worship Center that "The Lord told me it's flat none of your business." Swaggart's son Donnie then announced to the stunned audience that his father would be temporarily stepping down as head of Jimmy Swaggart Ministries for "a time of healing and counseling Show less

He is the preacher ,He couldn't stop doing wrong things .then what about as. think it.
Say; "O PEOPLE OF THE BOOK!(TORAH , GOSPELS)
COME TO COMMON TERMS AS BETWEEN US AND YOU:
THAT WE WORSHIP NONE BUT GOD: THAT WE ASSOCIATE NO PARTNERS WITH HIM(SURAH AAL-E-IMRAN,VERSE-64)

IN JUDAISM,
"HEAR ,ISRAEL:THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD"(DEUT 6:4)

"I EVEN I ,AM THE LORD; AND BESIDES ME THERE IS NO SAVIOR" (ISAIAH)

"I AM GOD , AND THERE IS NONE ELSE : I AM GOD ,AND THERE IS NONE LIKE ME"(ISAIAH 46:9)

"THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GOD'S BEFORE ME, THOU SHALT NOT MAKE THEE ANY GRAVE IMAGE , OR LIKENESS OF ANYTHING THAT IS IN HEAVEN ABOVE, OR THAT IN THE EARTH BENEATH...THOU SHALT NOT BOW DOWN THYSELF UNTO THEM , NOR SERVE THEM (DEUT 5:7-9)

IN CHRISTIANITY :
"MY FATHER IS GREATER THAN I"(JOHN 14:28)

"MY FATHER IS GREATER THAN ALL" (JOHN 10:29)

"I CAST OUT DEVILS BY THE SPIRIT OF GOD" (MATTHEW 12:28)

"I CAN OF MINE OWN SELF DO NOTHING ; AS I HEAR , I JUDGE : AND MY JUDGEMENT IS JUST : BECAUSE I SEEK NOT MINE OWN WILL, BUT THE WILL OF THE FATHER WHICH HATH SENT ME"(JOHN 17:3)

"AND THE WORD WHICH YE HEAR IS NOT MINE, BUT MY FATHER'S WHICH HAS SENT ME"(JOHN 17:3)

"AND HE SAID UNTO HIM , WHY CALLEST THOU ME GOOD ? THERE IS ,GOD ; BUT IF THOU WILL ENTER INTO LIFE , KEEP THE COMMANDMENT'S".(MATTHEW 19 :17)

THIS WORD'S ARE JESUS SAID:

"HEAR ,ISRAEL:THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD"(MARK 12:29)

I HOPE YOU GOT MY ANS , STILL I AM NOT YET STARTED TO STUDY QURAN ,BUT "ALLAH " WILL GUIDE ME .when i started to pray Allah after that when ever that thoughts are come now i can control that through Allah.

Serendip Visitor's picture

For God so LOVED the

For God so LOVED the world.......

His love is eternal. Nothing you can do can change what Jesus did for you and me. I am 43 and am still batteling with this weakness. I love God and He loves me. I have overcome this battle and fallen so many times BUT the Holy spirit told me this one morning when I was in the shower crying why I kept falling to this deed( hope this sets you free like it has me.) is anybody living or past wiggly sin? Do you think it is possible to get to the point where we stop sinning. The truth is this - NO. ( here comes a smack in the evil ones face) No, no one can be so holy as not to "stumble" and fall. it is writen no one is without sin..... If it was possible for man to stop sinning, then Jedus did not have to die on the cross.
!!!! even Jesus fell a few times carrying the cross, BUT HE GOT UP EACH TIME AND KEPT ON..... When you fall, get up and run towards Christ not away.... He understands. His grace is sufficient. ........

Serendip Visitor's picture

Friend, it's true that none

Friend, it's true that none of us is without sin. Only Jesus can claim that distinction. But He offers to live inside us (Colossians 1:27), in our hearts. If we accept, it's no longer we who live; instead, it's Christ who lives in us (Galatians 2:20).

So although *I myself* can never stop sinning, praise God that I *can* stop—"yet not I, but Christ [who] liveth in me"! Living in me, He'll control my actions and my desires if I let Him.

Wonderfully, God not only forgives but also "is able to keep [us] from falling" (Jude 24). That's great hope for addicts like us! Full dependence on Him to live inside us, and zero trust in our own "bodies of death," is what we need.

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